My memories were suddenly coming back to me, little by little I started to remember bits and pieces of my life.
From the time I lost mom and dad, to the time I started working at Merlottes, meeting Bill, to meeting Eric for the first time.
I looked at Eric, and he seemed just as confused as I was. Our exchange strengthened our current bond, and I felt him even strongly now. I opened my mouth to speak, when suddenly more memories began to rush in. There was a slight pain in my head from the memory overload, and I’m sure Eric could feel me, I felt his calm through our bond, and it made me feel better.
I remembered how Eric was ripped away from me, how we were forced to conceal our bond, the severing spell was supposed to eradicate it completely, but here I was feeling every part of him. I’m pretty sure this is either a dream…or I died.
The latter is much more probable, after all. I chose to die, I wanted to leave everything because I couldn’t let my precious baby boy die alone. So maybe I did something good in my life in order to have Eric here with me, in wherever this place was.
Even if he wasn’t real.
What mattered was that he was here now. Even if it was all an illusion.
I took his hand into mine, feeling for one last time how cool they felt, how wonderful it felt to feel him like this.
“Maybe you’re not real, but you’re here. I’m sorry Eric, I’m sorry I never got to tell you I was carrying our son. I’m sorry you didn’t get to live that wonderful experience with me. I’m sorry Eric, I wish you were really here with me, but you’re not. I need you even now, but you’re not really here.”
I really didn’t want to die. I wanted to be with Eric. I wanted to feel his arms around me again, I wanted to feel his cool touch on my skin, I wanted to lay my head down on his chest after our love making. I wanted him, I needed him with me. This Eric that was here was only a figment of my imagination, my own magic probably playing tricks on me.
I broke down into tears, and as soon as I did, I felt his arms wrap around me, just like I had always wanted them too for the last few months. This was so comforting even if it was all a lie, my mind really was cruel.
“I’m here my lover. I’m here, I’m not fake, I’m real.”
“I wish my mind wasn’t being so cruel to me.” I sobbed into his arms, feeling a wave of love, comfort, and adoration come over me.
“Lover, look at me. This is real, I am real. Your body began to shut down after they took our child. You’ve been in a comatose state, if you leave me Sookie, I will face the sun.”
I could feel it again, love, hurt and determination.
Even if Eric wasn’t real, if he found out I had died, he’d meet the sun in an instant. He’d declared that to me several times when we were together. If Eric died because of me then I would never be able to forgive myself. He wasn’t meant to die, Eric was a man that was meant to live, and to have him die because of me would kill me. Pam would hate me if she lost her maker because of me. But there was my boy, my baby boy that I never even got to hold in my arms.
“Sookie, look at me. You need to come back with me. My stubborn Faery you are a woman that does not give up. You’re strong and brave, you are fierce and you have a zest for life that rivals my own. You kill to protect those you love, you are the wife of my heart. I promise you, that I will kill every single fucking Faery that ever wronged us, including Niall. They’ve started a war with me Sookie, I will avenge our son, consequences be damned.” He growled out towards the end, and it warmed my heart.
What Eric was telling me, he was right. Gran would have been disappointed with me if I gave up so easily. Gran was a mother as well, she lost her only son which was my father, and then she lost Grandaddy. She lost Hadley, and she lost my mother too. But that never stopped Gran from living life to its fullest.
I realized, this. I also knew that I wasn’t human. I was a Faery Princess, I could demand retribution, and I could kill the ones that took my son from me. I would avenge my son, and I knew Eric would stay at my side. Like Eric said, consequences be damned.
After drying my tears I pulled away from Eric’s arms. He didn’t say anything, but I could feel his love for me and it was even stronger. Maybe, this Eric was real? The emotions felt all too real, his touch, it made me ache for him.
If he was real, I let my ache, my need for him flow through our bond. I could see his eyes widen, and there was his smile too.
I could feel her, I felt her sadness, her readiness to just give up. I could feel how apprehensive she was when I told her I was real. I know she didn’t believe me at the time, and as I spoke to her, I held her crying form in my arms. Her tears made me ache, and I sent her all my love, my devotion to her through our weak bond.
I vowed that I would slowly torture every single one of them for hurting her and our child. Felipe de Castro was not exempt from this, he was the reason I was wearing the chains of a slave. He had given me this proposal, that if I refused to marry Freyda than he would kill her for me, take Oklahoma for his own but with the only exception that I live life at court, without any chance at ever seeing Sookie, at least not for a hundred years or so. Though he gave me no rules that I could not contact her, I did not want to risk her life.
Yes, I would kill him too for pulling me away from her. He was the reason I could not protect my mate.
I could Sookie tense, I could feel every emotion in her body. I welcomed it with open arms. I had longed for this, to feel her once more. Her blood and mine combined, they were meant to be one, we were meant to be one. I felt her sudden determination, I felt her need for me, and I smiled at her. She was back, my beautiful woman was back.
“Home.” She said as she embraced me.
“Let’s go home Eric, take me home.”
I smiled at the beautiful woman in my arms.
“Yes, let’s go home.”
A while light enveloped us, it was warm and it felt so good. It made me feel human again. Which should be impossible, but with this beautiful creature, nothing was impossible.
When the light dissipated, our surroundings had changed. Sookie was no longer in my arms, but she was on the bed; still sleeping. I looked at her, noticing that her heart beat had gone back to normal, and her breathing was back to a normal pace as well. There was no chanting, but the Faery witch was still here, Doctor Ludwig was quick to come over to Sookie’s side, and I had to suppress a growl. I didn’t want anyone touching her, but it was Ludwig, and as much as I hated it, I liked and trusted this little troll.
“You did well, Fangs.” The witch smiled. “She should be waking up soon, and I suppose you want us to make ourselves scarce.” She said eyeing Ludwig.
“Yes, she’s back to normal. That potion we had given you should last you a while, enjoy your time with her. Call me if you need me, only under dire emergencies. If she does not wake today, wait for tomorrow.”
They both popped away, and I was left alone with her. I positioned myself on the bed, wrapping myself around her. I caressed her cheek, waiting for her to awaken.
Although I knew she was going to be okay, I couldn’t help but worry. What if she wouldn’t come back? What if I had failed? I know that my fear was irrelevant. I shouldn’t be afraid, I am a thousand year old vampire, and I have never felt fear of anything, not until now.
But my fears fell, when I felt her awaken, I looked at her, and I saw her eyes flutter open. Her eyes widened when she saw me and immediately she latched on to me, taking me into her embrace, I felt her sorrow again. She started to cry again.
“Oh, Eric. You’re real, you were real, you’re here with me.” I wrapped her in my arms again, caressing her hair, sending waves of calm to her.
“I’m sorry Eric, I should have told you. I should have let you know I was pregnant, I should have, I’m sorry. It was my fault, it’s my fault all this has happened. I lost our child and I’m so sorry Eric.”
“Sssh, my lover. All will be well.” I soothed her, as she kept saying how sorry she was, I could feel her guilt, and I did not want her to feel that way. I understood women were vulnerable when they were with child, and when it was time for the birth of the child in my human days; my father would have my mother heavily guarded.
“Sookie, what those Faeries did was declare war on me. I will create the second Faery war if I have to, because I will avenge our child. I will kill every single creature that has wronged us. I will spill blood if I have to, they will pay for harming what is mine.” I growled, suddenly the urge to kill was eating away at me and Sookie pulled me down for a kiss.
“I believe you, and if I have to, I will kill my grandfather myself.” She said whispering against my lips. It was a turn on, hearing talk of spilling blood. But as much as it turned me on, I did not wish for her to dirty her own hands with blood.
“Let me do this for you, let me be a good mate, let me show you I can just as well provide, and kill for you.”
“Eric, I love you and I know you want to do this. But keep in mind, my son was ripped away from me, I didn’t even get the chance to see him Eric. I never got to see how many fingers he had, or what he looked like. I wasn’t able to see it, and I will never be able to do so.” Her voice wavered and I could hear her crying again, I felt her sorrow once more, but I could feel her rage, and it only fueled my own even more.
“His blood will be on my hands, because I will be seeking retribution as Sookie Brigant, Princess of the Skye Fae. ”
She had accepted her otherness. She had declared herself as a Princess, and that made me even happier, and harder.
I could feel my erection, and I had every urge, and every need to claim my mate. I needed to leave my scent on her body, I needed her.
“What did you name him?” I said, distracting myself as she curled up against me.
“Alrik, his name was Alrik Northman.”
“You gave him a name that resembled mine.”
“Because he was you, I mean…he was both you and me.” I heard her sigh. “I loved him, just like I love his father. Just like I love you.” She turned over to face me with a small smile gracing her lips.
“He was yours, just like I am yours Eric.” Yes, and I wanted her to know that she was mine as well, but now was not the time for it. She was weakened, and had just escaped death. These huge waves of lust that rolled over me were mine alone, and my instincts were telling me to claim her. I seriously don’t know what has gotten into me.
Normally I never did pass up the chance to make love to her, or have raw primal sex with this beautiful woman, but never have I had urges like these.
My instincts were telling me not to let anyone near her, or to touch her. My instincts were telling me to nurture her, and heal her. My instincts were telling me to claim her and leave my scent all over her. My instincts should take a hint and leave me the fuck alone because I am trying to keep myself in control here.
“Eric, did you know that we bonded the Faery way?”
“The Faery way?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, apparently, since I’m part-Fae, and I come from a powerful bloodline, and Royalty I was able to imprint on you, from the day I first met you at Fangtasia. Imprinting meaning that I had chosen you as my mate, or so it goes. Bonding to you made our connection even more powerful. So when we tore our bond apart, it made our separation so painful.” Ah so that’s what it was. I had wondered why these days, prior to my being here; I was throwing up blood, which was impossible for a vampire. My body would not accept another’s blood within me. Sookie’s Fae side would not allow it.
“As to how I got pregnant, well basically the night after we broke our bond, after you and I both had our goodbye sex, my Fae-side wouldn’t allow your blood to go so easily, so some magic was released and a few months later I was carrying a part of you. This is also why we didn’t feel so much pain at our separation, technically because our son had your blood in his veins, my body was satisfied with this, and your blood and body felt that they were still here, so there was no problem….until Alrik was born.”
Suddenly it all made sense. The reason I threw up was because my blood, which was Alrik; was no longer inside of Sookie.
It seemed like my chances of survival were very dim at the time.
“I heard your voice, Sookie.” I said after she was done speaking.
“What? How?…Oh…wait the Faery thing..right.” She said with a small chuckle.
“I heard you calling my name, I had never felt so useless and powerless in my life. I am sorry, if only I could hav..” She stopped me by sealing my lips with another kiss.
“I love you, Eric. You’re here now and that is all that matters to me.”
For the remainder of the night, we talked, we kissed, we held each other and we just enjoyed ourselves, no sex included. I had missed this, having Sookie in my arms, telling her how much I love her, and how much I need her in my life. I loved this feeling, Sookie in my arms, and nothing to interrupt us. Bill was gone, there was nothing to disturb us. I was going to cherish this moment, because for all I knew this could be the last blissful moment of peace I could have with her.
As my maker had once said.
Never dwell on the future, live every day as if it were your last. And this is exactly what I did.